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Grow in all ways.

Bethany Zelent (2018) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LxJ9hAruVZs spoke about the questions that take place when childhood trauma occurs. Two of those questions were;

What did I do to cause this?

How can I make this stop?

I’m going to use up my confidence in an instance to say that it’s not only children who ask these questions. Grown adults who pay bills and live their best lives ask these very same questions. Except the adult version is more like;

What’s going on now?

How can I live my best life?

The ultimate escape room

As adults we just want to move past things as quickly and swiftly as possible because “Ain’t nobody got time for that” Kimberly “Sweet Brown” Wilkins (8 April 2012). So our first question is to find out what’s going on and possibly who to project this to and shift blame on. Thereafter we want to develop amnesia and continue to live our best life that is filled with escapism extremes.

Source: Kimberly ‘Sweet Brown’ Wilkins

Basically life as an adult is an escape room not realizing that our best life is also in the uncomfortable, challenging and on the other side of fear. Which means that we have to go through that fear to get to exciting. Yes the chemical release in our bodies is the same whether we are experiencing fear or excitement. How’s this link for a reference. https://www.huffingtonpost.com/laura-huckabeejennings/shift-fear-to-excitement_b_10488700.html

Source: Future

Growth and protection

Remember Bethany? Fine read up then! She also said that when trauma happens it emotionally stunts you at that age and that you are in and all at once we go from growth to protection. So instead of growing in every way possible even though it may possibly hurt we try and we prevent ourselves from feeling the pain so we protect ourselves. And I know she wasn’t talking about that durex or trojan protection, so don’t loose that.

You guys the pain that we are trying to protect ourselves from is actually GROWTH!

Source: Insecure

Stop running

So how can we experience this growth, flourish and live our best lives?

Stop running! Put your running shoes up and get your feet wet. The next time it feels uncomfortable, tight, heartbeat chasing and damn near excruciating, I want us to try something different let’s stay and find out what we will become after this growth has taken place.

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Stunting? …. YHTDTW

By now you have read my personal why. The long boring read that tries to seem interesting, sort of and kind of introduces me. That was to share my why and if you didn’t catch it before my name is Nonkululeko Judy Dlamini but please only call me Judy.

Everything has a why. A bowl’s why is to accommodate food, a spoon’s why is to transport it from bowl to bowl or bowl to mouth and my why is to honor 5 year old me. Why 5 year old me? Long stories that we have plenty more posts to get into.


What are we doing?

Today we are going to look at YHTDTW’s why. If you haven’t figured it out by now YHTDTW is a call to action brand that encourages self-responsibility, confidence, living and loving your best life.

So like most good reads let’s break it down into the 5 W’s and a H.

Who?

Each and every single one of us.


What?

Doing the work.


Where?

Everywhere necessary.

Inspiration and guidance from www.yhtdtw.com and other great websites that I don’t get paid to promote.


When?

When you feel stuck and nothing seems to be working. Every time you feel out of place, lost, confused and especially when you feel like you aren’t moving forward even though you are running at 100 km per hour.


How?

Acknowledging, accepting and honoring.


Why?

Because stunting.

Stunting? Isn’t that what happens to children? 


Yes stunting and according the World Health Organization (WHO) stunting is impaired growth and development that ‘children’ experience from poor nutrition, repeated infection and inadequate psycho-social stimulation. The WHO also acknowledges that although stunting can not be cured, it can be prevented and not only through nutritional efforts.


Stunting affects how we see ourselves moving forward based on our past experiences. The stunting I am talking about is what I like to call experience stunting. Experience stunting is when you experience a situation and because it is nothing you have ever experienced before you are either in awe by its beauty or you are pained by it’s shock value.

Whether you see it as beautiful or painful you decide to unpack your whole life and move in and you don’t seem to move past your eviction notice. Did you know that experience stunting affects us all because we are unable to predict our next experience even if we try and manipulate it to suit us.

If we see the situation as beautiful we welcome more experiences that remind us of our first encounter of beautiful and if we see this situation as painful we will prefer to dread and avoid it. What’s constant about both perceptions of experience is that we don’t seem to grow past these experiences we just learn to cope past them or relive them over and over again.

This is why


This is why I call it ‘YHTDTW’ because You Have To Do The Work.

You have to do the work to recognize that you have stunted.

YHTDTW to decide to move past it or not.

You have to do the work to live with what ever decision you have made and take responsibility to grow past your stunting moments.

YHTDTW to maintain an unshakeable confidence about yourself because trusting yourself is your first step.

You have to do the work to live and love your best life.

Stay loud and bright

YHTDTW